G'bye October. Hello Turkey Day!

I just got schooled on how to be a secret agent woman. The boys broke their bedroom door again (they keep doing this, so we stopped fixing it). I tried to stealth my way into their pitch black room, seek out my 9 year old son's bag of candy, and fetch me a snickers bar. I failed miserably, waking them all up with the door falling over, and the light switch not coming on (they have a second light switch on other side of room which would require walking over their sleeping selves to find it... in pitch black darkness).

I left their den defeated. Clint handed me a flashlight. I went in for the second round of running the gauntlet for the golden Snickers bar (bite sized is all I wanted).

I stepped in, made my son get on his bed, instead of sleeping on the floor (what is up with that? Will invest further), found his bag of goodies, grabbed it, and ran out like the guilty thief in the night I was.

So, about thirty minutes of cleaning out all the empty packages of candy (I'm OCD like that... I had to clean first... I can't help it!), I discovered that my son has my exact same taste buds. What he didn't want was still in there. It's a bag full of candy corn, starbursts, laughy taffy, and suckers. If those stale bubble gum wrapped things were handed out again, those would be in there also.

ALAS! ... I was too late... The chocolate jewels were done annihilated.

Next year, when trying to go stealth as a parent stealing the spoils of all her kids hard work with manners of always saying "Trick or Treat, Happy Halloween, Thank You" , I'll make sure I pick through his candy score AS SOON AS HE FALLS ASLEEP, and reserve some chocolates (SNICKERS AT LEAST) for my future October craving of my favorites.

Mission failed... Lesson learned.

G'bye October... Hello Turkey day.

Only Time Will Tell

I speak with passion and conviction, but my opinion/views on any subject is not written in stone. I am fully aware that my mind is forever re-shaping, re-thinking as I allow new information in. It isn't always an instant realization that transforms my thinking. There are many times where I really have to mull things over, investigate, etc, before I form a new conclusion of how I understand a thing, subject, situation.

I think for the most part that most people are that way, but some are not aware that is what they are doing while mentally progressing.

There are ponderous things in life that I feel I may never sort out, or have a real opinion on. I shouldn't say opinion in that case. I think it would be more accurate to say I'll never have a true understanding of some things.


The older I get, the more I have observed behaviors in society leaning strongly towards not caring about other people's preferences, or beliefs as they are at the time. People will always love to argue with differences, debate theories, etc, but what I'm referring to specifically here is the root of what always made society be a society. There seems to be a strong pull in society towards not caring about society standards as they used to be for so many centuries now. Society is eroding in the art of consideration of others preferences. Respect is taking on a whole new form of meaning.

Today's culture in America, we unfriend people we have known at length with a push of a button. POOF-GONE. That easy to walk away from someone we have outgrown. Ignore, and pretend they don't exist anymore, and no guilt about it. It's normal anymore to be this way. Forget all we have learned of this person(s) life, keeping up with everything they are about as they progress in this world. The intimacy of friendship is dying, and in its wake is a re-birth of a friendship that is so fleeting, roots ignored, that the whole meaning of "ties that bond us together" is going to be a thought of the past at the rate society today is heading.

Only time will tell if it was a needed progression of society, or a social downfall of the likes history has never known before.

When I leave this world, I want to be known for who I am. That may sound selfish, but what I mean by that is that I want everyone that is (was) a part of my life to know 100% how much I celebrate (ed), and care (ed) in my heart of who they are (were) as a person. All their struggles, pain, happiness, success, and failures... all those emotions make (made) them who they are every second of every waking moment, and it matters to me. It does not go unnoticed by me. I care. I'll never forget.

We are coming into a new era of not respecting/celebrating a human life's roots, and ignoring all they stood for. The voice of "The People" is going to have a stagnant meaning in the future, and it saddens me. We're already being "shushed" by a push of a button. The people pushing that button ( with no regard to the other person's path in this life) are (is) society's future. I'm guilty of it myself.

There is no stopping a mass social change though. We either stay with the times, or fall so far behind that we end up convinced we have a mental disorder, because we just can't fit into society anymore.

I don't mean to sound old, and depressing. I'm just being observant, and truthful as I see it today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring me to shape my brain differently...

Only time will tell.

Infinity; No One Is Worthy.

If you had the chance to make the world a different/better place, if you could live forever, but be restricted in the what if's that you know as you are in your mentality right now... do you think you could come up with answers/solutions that would honor whores, murderers, child molester, pot stirring heartache makers, home wreckers, liars, thieves, etc? Could you honor them? Why would you want to? Are you truly worthy to take on infinity? The world? If you can't feel compassion and understanding for the worst mentalities, let alone being able to relate to ALL walks of life, cultural differences, etc, then you need to get off the vanity wagon, and accept that you are no better than the rest of us fools. Fools all trying to learn to be a better "me". The difference in people is the people that bullshit themselves, let others feed them bullshit, those that see the difference, and the rest that question if they do or don't. 

For me, that puts us all in the same damned category.

Sense of "self" the ego, does it not build a better humanitarian in oneself, so that others, even the world, can benefit, or is the ego of oneself a hindrance in the grand scheme of things? That one I'm still not sure of. Even the most devoted to the life of scripture in the Bible are driven by the sense of self in the reality they do this based on wanting to (no matter the reasoning for wanting to). It is still a self-fulfilled want- that when accomplished or even fathomed as a possibility- encourages one to continue in their efforts. Even when failure ensues relentlessly. The inner desire to do good, even with no desire for recognition, etc, is still a self-driven desire based on self -the gratification of doing good. Even the best intentions have been well documented in history as the breeding ground for mass devastation globally. When is the defining moment that the sense of self has lost touch with the bigger picture while doing everything to help in aiding in the bigger picture? How does one even go about reeling in a person's ego at that point?