Light Bringers

This will be the second time in my 40 years that I've displayed arrogance like this, and lord forgive me for it, but at the same time - I have to say - that if you want to challenge me on my intellect, values, principles, faith, etc, then you may as well be bringing a knife to a gun show.

I will never go quietly into that good night. My edit button will always be broken. I will always make mistakes, muck things up, but in my heart.. In my heart I am the ONLY ONE that knows where I stand, and where I stand is ALWAYS In YOUR best interest. I will always see the best in YOU (no matter who you are), and I will always fight for the best you want to be. I'll always fight for the best I can be also.

Because I have lived so long trying to train my brain to think positive, be able to put myself in others shoes, and still find compassion, understanding, and forgiveness for others faults... I achieved that VIA wanting so badly for me to be seen for who I am, be able to fully understand others struggles, and then finally realizing that some one has all along... GOD!

I have been through so much in life, more than most I know, but even the people I know that have been through WAY WORSE than me, guess what they discovered long before me? Forgiveness in self, miracles all around us, kindness, compassion, understanding, effective communication, and FREEDOM from guilt. Guilt is there for a reason... it means you have something to learn from it about yourself. Once you own up to it, make amends, it's gone... poof... will never be a problem again...

When you be honest with WHO YOU ARE ALWAYS every day, and retrain your brain to be positive, and in the best interest of everyone you love, or have not even met yet, well... everyone else that tries to hurt you may as well be bringing a knife to a gun show.

They have way more to learn than you at that point.

If you're a good person - your guns will never be seen by the knife wielder. Instead, you'll go out of your way to talk them into letting that knife go... you'll try to be a mentor, guidance, a shoulder to lean on, and a positive influence ALWAYS.

When you get to that level of mentality in life... life is so peaceful. Oh you'll still care just as strongly as you did before, but you'll now have the tools, etc, to help those that couldn't help you when you needed those answers/guidance. In other words, always be a guiding light to everyone, no matter what they are going through. Everyone is capable of learning, and becoming the better person they wish they can be...

Be the light in their darkness...

G'bye October. Hello Turkey Day!

I just got schooled on how to be a secret agent woman. The boys broke their bedroom door again (they keep doing this, so we stopped fixing it). I tried to stealth my way into their pitch black room, seek out my 9 year old son's bag of candy, and fetch me a snickers bar. I failed miserably, waking them all up with the door falling over, and the light switch not coming on (they have a second light switch on other side of room which would require walking over their sleeping selves to find it... in pitch black darkness).

I left their den defeated. Clint handed me a flashlight. I went in for the second round of running the gauntlet for the golden Snickers bar (bite sized is all I wanted).

I stepped in, made my son get on his bed, instead of sleeping on the floor (what is up with that? Will invest further), found his bag of goodies, grabbed it, and ran out like the guilty thief in the night I was.

So, about thirty minutes of cleaning out all the empty packages of candy (I'm OCD like that... I had to clean first... I can't help it!), I discovered that my son has my exact same taste buds. What he didn't want was still in there. It's a bag full of candy corn, starbursts, laughy taffy, and suckers. If those stale bubble gum wrapped things were handed out again, those would be in there also.

ALAS! ... I was too late... The chocolate jewels were done annihilated.

Next year, when trying to go stealth as a parent stealing the spoils of all her kids hard work with manners of always saying "Trick or Treat, Happy Halloween, Thank You" , I'll make sure I pick through his candy score AS SOON AS HE FALLS ASLEEP, and reserve some chocolates (SNICKERS AT LEAST) for my future October craving of my favorites.

Mission failed... Lesson learned.

G'bye October... Hello Turkey day.

Only Time Will Tell

I speak with passion and conviction, but my opinion/views on any subject is not written in stone. I am fully aware that my mind is forever re-shaping, re-thinking as I allow new information in. It isn't always an instant realization that transforms my thinking. There are many times where I really have to mull things over, investigate, etc, before I form a new conclusion of how I understand a thing, subject, situation.

I think for the most part that most people are that way, but some are not aware that is what they are doing while mentally progressing.

There are ponderous things in life that I feel I may never sort out, or have a real opinion on. I shouldn't say opinion in that case. I think it would be more accurate to say I'll never have a true understanding of some things.


The older I get, the more I have observed behaviors in society leaning strongly towards not caring about other people's preferences, or beliefs as they are at the time. People will always love to argue with differences, debate theories, etc, but what I'm referring to specifically here is the root of what always made society be a society. There seems to be a strong pull in society towards not caring about society standards as they used to be for so many centuries now. Society is eroding in the art of consideration of others preferences. Respect is taking on a whole new form of meaning.

Today's culture in America, we unfriend people we have known at length with a push of a button. POOF-GONE. That easy to walk away from someone we have outgrown. Ignore, and pretend they don't exist anymore, and no guilt about it. It's normal anymore to be this way. Forget all we have learned of this person(s) life, keeping up with everything they are about as they progress in this world. The intimacy of friendship is dying, and in its wake is a re-birth of a friendship that is so fleeting, roots ignored, that the whole meaning of "ties that bond us together" is going to be a thought of the past at the rate society today is heading.

Only time will tell if it was a needed progression of society, or a social downfall of the likes history has never known before.

When I leave this world, I want to be known for who I am. That may sound selfish, but what I mean by that is that I want everyone that is (was) a part of my life to know 100% how much I celebrate (ed), and care (ed) in my heart of who they are (were) as a person. All their struggles, pain, happiness, success, and failures... all those emotions make (made) them who they are every second of every waking moment, and it matters to me. It does not go unnoticed by me. I care. I'll never forget.

We are coming into a new era of not respecting/celebrating a human life's roots, and ignoring all they stood for. The voice of "The People" is going to have a stagnant meaning in the future, and it saddens me. We're already being "shushed" by a push of a button. The people pushing that button ( with no regard to the other person's path in this life) are (is) society's future. I'm guilty of it myself.

There is no stopping a mass social change though. We either stay with the times, or fall so far behind that we end up convinced we have a mental disorder, because we just can't fit into society anymore.

I don't mean to sound old, and depressing. I'm just being observant, and truthful as I see it today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring me to shape my brain differently...

Only time will tell.